This year, for the first time ever, I got a fake tree.
I have the best excuse for it, both my middle child and I are pretty deeply allergic to pine trees. But it would be a complete fabrication for me to say I got the fake tree for that reason. I did it because quarantine lifestyle has led everyone to re-evaluate traditions and that’s one I held on to tightly but was kind of done with.
When I asked my kids about it, their reactions were, “This is the best news, cutting down the tree was always miserable, and we’re not good at watering them.” And “Mom, I’m allergic to trees, I can’t believe it took you this long.”
Guess what? It’s fine. In fact, it’s beautiful. I probably should have gotten a larger tree, but another news flash, it turns out it’s not a big deal if you don’t put all the ornaments out.
Through the scary spread of this virus a silver lining is we’re really re-evaluating traditions and institutions that we never thought could ever be different. In many jobs, we’re discovering that things that seemed like they had to be done in the office don’t have to be, while things that we thought weren’t a big deal to do via conference call or over the internet are actually really important to do in person.
Re-evaluating holidays is a big game changer for many, myself included. I’ve been a single parent for several years now and my grip on traditions has been intense. I haven’t wanted my kids to lose any of the traditions without talking to them about what’s important to them or taking the time to think about what’s important to me.
When Covid turned Thanksgiving on its head, it reminded me of what I’ve always said: A tradition is what you make it. If you dig into most holidays, there’s some fabrication in there somewhere – some big, some little. What matters is the positive memories and the traditions that surround them. And we get to decide what is important to us.
So this year, no muddy cold trudge through the woods to find the perfect tree. No taking hours to put the lights on just so. Most of the store-bought ornaments stayed in the boxes. But we did decorate together. My kids still made fun of me for rearranging ornaments and created “bird squad” with the tackiest ornaments, which of course, remains.
We did listen to The Kingston Trio’s “Last Month of the Year” while decorating. And we put on the beautiful glass bulbs with photos that their grandmother made, and their hands that I traced every year, and the baby hats and shoes that I can’t bear to get rid of. I didn’t put the wreaths on the upper windows, but I did on the lower.
I also re-connected with an old tradition of forcing paperwhite and amaryllis bulbs, and the flowers make me so happy. I’ve given them to many friends as well and it’s the greatest joy to get texts from them in excitement as the bulbs grow.
For the first time in a while – probably several years – I have really been enjoying the holiday season. I think it’s because this weird pandemic world gave me permission to let go of things I never wanted to hold onto in the first place.
My December is full of fake trees, real flower bulbs, music, and the meaningful moments and outreach from the people who fill my heart. I feel like the uncertainty that this pandemic created in the world gave me permission to have the holiday my heart always wanted. I hope that other people are feeling this too and after our world heals, we come out better, able to let go of the things we should have and prioritize the things that truly fill our hearts.
