Good morning, it’s Tuesday.
There are a lot of crummy things about being adult that no one told you when you were a kid who couldn’t wait to grow up and make your own decisions.
Remember those days? When you thought you would grow up, never again have to clean your room, eat candy all day, and not have to take orders from anyone ever again?
Yeah, right.
Adulting is hard. You have to pay your bills and your taxes, save for retirement, take care of your house/car/apartment, go to work etc. and so forth. You answer to a lot of people – your boss, your spouse/partner, the government – all while suffering the indignities of getting older, which means you’re far creakier and less cool that you used to be.
The other thing no one tells you is how hard it’s going to be to make friends as an adult and keep them. I feel like I had a ton of friends when I was younger – up through college, really – back when I had a lot of free, unstructured time to just hang around, play, go on adventures, what have you.
Now, though, everyone is so damn busy doing the aforementioned adulting things. I think if you have kids – especially younger kids – it might be easier to find time to get together so the kids can hang out and the adults can do the same. But if you’re a childless dog lady like myself (ahem, J.D. Vance, WTF?), squeezing in meaningful friend time is hard. It requires scheduling weeks ahead and coordination of epic proportions, I find.
And then there’s the question of where to meet people and make new friends when you’re older. I guess there’s always the gym, and work, and maybe a religious institution if you’re inclined to attend one. But I go to the gym, and I work from home. I don’t really go to synagogue as much as I should.
Overall, I find the whole friend thing really challenging, which is a pretty sad and isolating experience. And it turns out I’m very far from alone.
A 2021 American Perspectives survey found that 12 percent of adults said that they had no close friends, and only half of adults, 51 percent, said they’re satisfied with the number of friends they have. Now, this was on the heels of a global pandemic that locked us physically all away from one another and thrust all social and professional interactions online, which I personally find incredibly detached and weird.
But the loneliness/friendless trend hasn’t gotten any better since then. In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy deemed loneliness a public health epidemic.
This past January, the American Psychiatric Association found in its Healthy Minds Monthly Poll found that 30 percent of adults reported feeling lonely at least once a week over the past year, while 10 percent said they are lonely daily.
This phenomenon is more pronounced among young people, which is troubling, given the fact that it arguably should be easier – not harder – to make friends in your youth. Then again, the pandemic exacerbated isolation and loneliness among young people, who communicate, socialize, and basically live on their phones.
Today is the International Day of Friendship, which was proclaimed by the UN in 2011 “with the idea that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities.”
Let’s bring it down to a personal level – the importance of positive, supportive, strong friendships cannot be overstated. They not only enrich your life, but also have been shown to have a positive impact on your mental and physical health. They might even made you live longer.
But where to find these friends? If you google “how to make friends as an adult” you’ll get a whole host of recommendations – some of them actually helpful. Rule No. 1 – you have to get out there; friendships aren’t made from your couch. Accept invitations. Go to the gym, or the cafe and strike up a conversation, or join a club – running, book, knitting, whatever strikes your fancy.
Talk to people. Be open to new experiences. I know, it’s easier said than done. But give it a whirl. Your heart – and your head, and your soul – will thank you.
It’s going to be on the warm side, with temperatures topping out in the high 80s. There could be a stray shower or thunderstorm, so be on the lookout.
In the headlines…
Gov. Roy Cooper of North Carolina, who had been seen as a leading contender to become Vice President Kamala Harris’s running mate, has withdrawn from the vice-presidential sweepstakes.
Cooper confirmed the news, reported earlier by The New York Times, in a social media post last night. He reportedly was asked last week by the Harris campaign to be vetted for vice president but declined to participate.
Harris’ plan as a running mate was to brush past JD Vance as nothing but a rubber stamp for Donald Trump. But now that she’s the presumptive Democratic nominee, her campaign is seizing on the Ohio senator as a major liability.
Video clips of Harris’ old statements and interviews are being weaponized as Republicans aim to define her as a left-wing radical who is out of step with swing voters.
The vice president’s campaign drew nearly 200,000 participants yesterday to a “White Dudes for Harris” Zoom call that included Jeff Bridges, who referenced his signature line from “The Big Lebowski” to endorse her presidential candidacy.
Speakers at the online event included would-be running mates, Hollywood actors, and labor leaders.
The GOP mayor of Mesa, Ariz. — Phoenix’s largest suburb — endorsed Harris, saying only the vice president can “put country over party” in the November election.
Harris’ campaign said she was also backed by the mayors of Bisbee, Nogales, Somerton, and San Luis, as well as by Yuma County Supervisors Martin Porchas and Tony Reyes.
President Joe Biden said that he was pushing for legislation that would bring major changes to the Supreme Court, including imposing term limits and creating an enforceable code of ethics on the justices.
In an opinion essay in The Washington Post, Biden also said that the court’s decision to grant broad immunity to presidents for crimes they commit in office was an example of “dangerous and extreme” decision-making that had put Americans at risk.
Trump will meet with federal agents investigating the assassination attempt against him. FBI Special Agent Kevin Rojek called the meeting “a standard victim interview like we would do for any other victim of crime, under any other circumstances.”
The bureau also provided the most comprehensive portrait to date of the gunman, revealing that he had carefully concealed more than two dozen online purchases of weapons and explosives using aliases.
Olympics organizers postponed the men’s individual triathlon race that had been scheduled for this morning, saying water-quality tests had shown that the Seine, the river that traverses Paris, was unsafe to swim in.
The race will now be held tomorrow morning, after the end of the women’s triathlon, the sport’s governing body, World Triathlon, said in a statement early this morning.
American gymnast Stephen Nedoroscik executed a seamless routine on the pommel horse for a score of 14.866 to seal Team USA’s bronze medal in the all-around team competition in Paris – the first U.S. men’s team gymnastics medal since 2008.
A New York judge banned Wayne LaPierre, the former head of the National Rifle Association, from holding a paid position with the organization for a decade, but declined to appoint an independent monitor to oversee the gun rights group.
Ruling from the bench, Cohen said the state’s request for a monitor was not the correct remedy, suggesting the outside oversight mechanism would be “time-consuming, disruptive and will impose significant costs on the NRA without corresponding benefits.”
Gov. Kathy Hochul and New York Democratic leaders have promised $5 million and significant campaign infrastructure to seven U.S. House candidates in tight races that could determine control of Congress.
This marks a shift for a party apparatus that has historically acted as little more than part of the incumbent governor’s campaign machinery, and politicians in the state see it as a welcome change.
Voters were able to cast their ballot through the mail without needing an excuse in June for the first time in New York, but it may also be the last after the state’s top court hears arguments in a lawsuit opposing the process this week.
MTA leaders said that they will take Hochul “at her word” when she promised to restore the $15 billion she cut from the transit agency’s construction budget through her last-minute pause of congestion pricing last month.
Brad Lander, the New York City comptroller, will announce today that he intends to challenge Mayor Eric Adams in next year’s Democratic primary, setting up a rare matchup between the two most prominent citywide elected officials.
Lander made no mention of his progressive roots in his campaign launch video, instead highlighting the concerns of New Yorkers who are worried about budget cuts to libraries and the high costs of child care.
Lander reportedly rejected a multi-million dollar road repair contract for Rikers Island after the Correction Department allowed the winning bidder to inexplicably jack up the price.
Adams touted a record-breaking year for affordable development, blasting criticism of new housing as modern “Jim Crowism” as he seeks to ramp up home production through sweeping rule changes.
Activists, formerly incarcerated citizens and family members gathered outside City Hall in Lower Manhattan for a rally protesting solitary confinement.
Brooklyn Councilwoman Susan Zhuang, under fire for allegedly biting a cop during a demonstration, said she wasn’t involved in organizing a protest march condemning her arrest, but text messages obtained by the Daily News raise questions about that claim.
Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer announced $30 million for advanced regional weather early warning systems around the country — with the UAlbany’s state Mesonet serving as a key example for what a nationwide network would look like.
A month after Hochul signed legislation creating the Pine Hills Land Authority, no appointments have been made to the organization that could coordinate the future uses of property at the former College at Saint Rose.
An Albany man who spent 23 years in prison for a murder he didn’t commit has filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against the city of Albany, a former detective and the estate of a deceased detective who had a key role in multiple homicide investigations.
Col. Jason W. Schultz, a veteran of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, took command of the Army’s Watervliet Arsenal during a ceremony last week.
Photo credit: George Fazio.
