I attended private school throughout my childhood. There was always a sense of protection I felt from the “outside” world – from the bad things that I would hear about happening at the “other”, non-private schools. I’ve heard many who didn’t grow up with this foundation refer to the experience as something quite different…but I wouldn’t trade my upbringing for anything else.
But things have changed. So, when it came time to decide where to send our now school-aged son, my husband and I grappled with the question for quite a while. There’s a lot to consider. We struggled with daycare since our son was ready to attend just as the pandemic caused many centers and home daycares to shutter.
I was lucky enough to find Bloom & Grow Daycare, but it took a while. They emerged just as my fourth daycare option fizzled on me. (I wish they had been an option when my son was a baby, but they only take 3-to-5-year-olds). With this tumultuous experience still fresh in my mind, I was nervous I would make another bad decision.
The first hurdle, of course, is cost. Public school is free. Private schools in our area range from about $5,000 a year to almost $15,000 or more for high school. Those prices certainly cause some sticker shock, but when it comes down to brass tacks, the cost of one of the less expensive private schools we were looking at is still about $4,000 less than the current cost of daycare. To me, this was a savings. But to my very practical husband, who grew up attending public schools, free means far more money in the bank.
A second hurdle is safety. To be honest, COVID was not high on our list of concerns. A much bigger worry is violence. Yes, I’m talking about placing my pre-K aged son, but need I remind you of Sandy Hook?
Apparently, school violence has been happening well before many of us were paying attention, but the one that many folks my age remember is Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado in 1999. I was in the 8th grade at the time, attending my “well protected” private school. My husband is from Colorado and was much closer to that then me.
Taking politics and gun laws completely out of this conversation, the fact is that violence is happening in schools, and it is something every parent needs to mentally prepare for.
When a shooting happened at a private Presbyterian Christian school in Nashville, my husband and I had just toured a local Catholic school 10 days earlier This spiraled my husband, who called me as he was driving to work thinking about it. I had to remind him that violence has been statistically low at private schools. But it still had an impact and did make me reconsider – for a moment – the registration check we had just written.
Another thing on our consideration list was religion. I was brought up Catholic. We agreed to raise our son Catholic, too, so that was a direction we were leaning towards; especially for the early years to provide him with that foundation of spiritual learning, and to celebrate his sacraments.
With Tae Kwon Do and soccer already plaguing our evenings and weekends at the ripe young age of 4-and-a-half, I knew I didn’t want yet another thing (religion classes) to add to our schedules outside of the usual school time. That was another check in the private school “pro” column.
As our time at Bloom & Grow wound down, other parents started asking where we were sending our son for kindergarten. They seemed to be very concerned about their child knowing a classmate as they entered a new environment. They recognized that their child and my son were friends, and they were hoping to continue this connection.
It struck me that I hadn’t thought about that at all! I calmed by myself remembering that my kid is a huge social butterfly. Not only did he attended multiple day cares but also joined me at many a press conference when care was cancelled. He did just fine.
I’m not worried about him making friends. Hell, after day 2 of a week-long evening sport camp at his new school, he was already hugging another kid goodbye. As it turns out, one of his besties from Tae Kwon Do attends his new school, too, so he’s very much looking forward to that.
This is by no means a complete list of worries that a parent might fret over while deciding where to send their kid to school. We didn’t even talk about homeschooling, uniforms, or school lunch. Every family needs to make the choice that best fits their lifestyle and values – and the unique needs of their child or children. No shame from this mom, no matter what you opt for.
I think our kid is going to do awesome at his new school. He’s already looking adorable in his uniform and knows some friends. An added bonus: He’s continuing a family tradition by attending the school I went to, which is where I made my life-long friend who is now his Godmother.
Good luck Kiddo, your momma loves you so.
