“If you’re not living outside of your comfort zone, then you are not really living.”
A woman I was sitting next to at a bar in Scottsdale, Arizona said that to me.
She was going through a divorce after twenty-plus years of marriage and was visiting her two high school best friends who had relocated to the Phoenix area. She was considering moving there now, making a fresh start as a single woman.
I had met her while walking back to my hotel on my first night in Arizona. The group of them invited me to join them since I was traveling solo.
Yes, I was traveling alone.
For the first time in my life, I willfully went hundreds of miles from my home for an adventure by myself.
From Upstate New York, across the country, to the mountains of Arizona… I was on a solo adventure.
I had wanted to go on a trip like this previously, but like many individuals, that fear of the unknown would kick in and turn into a type of procrastination. From, “It’s just too busy right now” to “I’ll wait and see if a friend will go with me,” or the big one, “I’m a mom and it’s better to just stay with my child.”
I had reached a point in my life where I wanted to stop living within the world I was comfortable, and not just lean, but jump into discomfort and challenge myself to do what I didn’t even expect from myself.
Let me just say, that trip changed my entire outlook on my own life and I caught a travel bug that has not disappeared.
From Arizona to Canada, to my upcoming trips to the Imperial Sand Dunes, the national parks of Utah, and the Grand Canyon… there are sites in the US and the world that I want to see and sometimes you just have to go for it, even if it’s by yourself.
Even if you are the most social butterfly with countless friends, there is something rewarding about traveling by yourself.
The connections.
What I found is that you are never alone when you travel. I had been nervous that if I didn’t travel with a partner or friends, I would be alone. That was the furthest thing from the truth. From the three girlfriends on my first night in Arizona (who I spent three hours with) to the family from Minnesota who I hiked with in Sedona, I met numerous individuals that I never would have even spoken to if I was with my own friends. It turns out, you actually meet so many people when you are traveling solo that you almost have to purposely avoid them to be alone.
Next perk, the freedom.
I tend to be a traveler who loves to be on the go. Spas and cabanas, not really my thing. Not many people can keep up with my exploration style, although a few friends can (like when I was in Rome and had an early morning flight and decided it was just better to explore the Spanish Steps at 2am than pay for a hotel that I would need to check-out of by 5am).
You can just wake up and do what you want, when you want, and go where you want. There is no itinerary that has to be agreed on by a group. You have the freedom and a vast array of possibility, and you have the chance to get to know yourself more. You discover what you like and don’t like, because no one else is there to influence you or override your desires. Want tacos? Tacos it is. Want to hop on a horse and travel up a mountain? Just do it! Not enjoying a certain activity? Pack up and head to the next. The amount of self-discovery, self-connection, and feeling of freedom was something that I had never experienced.
Clear Mind.
There is something about being away from your familiar surroundings for a few days. Yes, you meet a lot of wonderful new people while traveling, but you also have a good amount of time for just you and your thoughts. Having that space to just be with yourself without the daily distractions, it brings a sense of clarity and mental calmness that is hard to achieve while home. (I personally stay off social media on my trips as much as I can, going so far as deleting the apps off of my phone to have a complete separation from my daily day-to-day interactions).
Survival Mode.
This was the most challenging part for me, and boy did I love when I pushed myself to the level of discomfort with this. As a single mom, full-time employee, and classic rule-follower, I tend to be someone who is constantly doing risk-assessments in my mind.
With traveling solo, you are pretty much out there on your own and you need to learn how to survive… from who to trust to navigating around an unfamiliar place. This was my greatest stressor, yet also my greatest reward. It was a type of personal growth, that “I freaking did it” feeling, and each time I have traveled since, I became a little more independent, confident, and in tune with my needs, wants, and emotions. (And travel tip: TSA PreCheck makes travel so much easier. Get it!)
After my trips, friends had said that they also wanted to do something similar. Some did end up booking a solo trip, even if it wasn’t across the country but just a few hour drive away. Others are still getting to that level of comfort.
Solo travel is not for everyone. Some love it, some return home pretty quickly after leaving, some have a panic attack before embracing it, and others jump right in and are now backpacking in Peru. But you will never know unless you try.
Be it a weekend getaway, a trip across the country, or traveling to the other side of the world, give some version of solo travel a try.
Live outside of your comfort zone.
It’s the best way to live.
