My youngest son and I are midway through our “Mom and Me” vacation drive between Seattle and San Francisco. We’ve had fantastic weather, spent time with friends, and have seen some spectacular scenery. The trip has also been educational for me, teaching me some lessons about how to maintain peace and optimize happiness over 800+ miles and two weeks. I share these tips below with you in parental solidarity.

Limit early morning joint activities to maybe three per week and make sure the payoff justifies the early rising. A full day on Mt. Rainier? Yes. Walking a distance and waiting in line for pastry? Probably not. Just bring him something back and everyone’s happy.

Allow him to man the radio. You’ll learn what he listens to (there will be surprises) and it’s one less thing to manage while driving. Give your son the job of figuring out the navigation system, also. Tell him the two responsibilities, both important, yet different, comes as a pair, something he’ll appreciate understanding as he grows older.

Be flexible about what you eat. Car trips are made for fresh roadside purchased cherries and Clif bars. Freely share your water bottle, too. Don’t fight it. Vegetables will eventually find their way back into your diet, I promise.

Set them loose when possible. With cash and a fully charged phone, ideally.

Pepper the trip with friends, preferably those you have known for decades. Kids start developing a genuine curiosity about their parents as they develop their own senses of identity, I think. By mid to late teens kids are ready to hear some (tamer) stories about their parents told by those who were there to witness the events.

If they ask you to take their pic, comply. If they ask you NOT to take their pic, comply.

Speaking of pictures, let them use your-not-an-iPhone camera on occasion. Like the car ride dj-ing gig, it gives you an opportunity to see what they see.

When you drive them across the border between Oregon and California for their very first visit to California, smile when they cue up the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s “Californication.” Then reach over and turn the volume higher.