We’re 7 (?) weeks into the pandemic and it’s accompanying forced isolation. For those who are without a cohabitant or partner, the only thing getting shagged or shaggy, from what I can tell, is their hair. Witnessing how people deal with that growth has been a very entertaining pastime during this time of limited opportunity for amusement. Here’s what I’ve noticed.

Once again, men have it easiest. It seems that many already have those clipper things at home which means they’ve probably got some experience using them. Advantage, dudes. Personally, I’ve only wielded clippers once and it involved my youngest son and an unfortunate encounter with lice. It was years ago, but I’m scratching my head right now just thinking about it.

The clippers I used had a setting to determine how much hair to take off. Man, would that make trimming bangs a lot easier than me free styling it with dull scissors in my poorly lit bathroom…

A standard men’s hair cut seems pretty simple to accomplish, although someone I recently was in a Zoom meeting with focused his web camera on the back of his head to show us all the “spot” his wife had inadvertently cut a tad short. No one had the heart to tell him it was more a stripe than a spot, but whatever. He doesn’t have to look at it.

I’ve witnessed men haircuts in the past and understand that scissors do in fact come into play for men with more Sampson-ish hair. Finesse is definitely required for a more professional trim, but, if things go horribly wrong you know that man with the poorly cut hair is just putting on a baseball cap. In a week no one will be the wiser.

Men, of course, also have to consider their facial hair situation and those bear-types are beginning to look like they just came out of a long hibernation. I don’t know whether that kind of growth requires clippers or scissors to tame, but it’s time for many of the bearded dudes, that I’ve seen, to figure that out ASAP.

Men, metrosexuals aside, only really have to contend with the hair on their heads. Women, as we know, have been influenced to believe they need to wrangle hair in many other places. Learning that Kate Hudson had mastered the self bikini wax was an accomplishment I wish she had saved to share with her more personal friends.

But, let’s keep our focus on the hair above a woman’s shoulders. I’ve never seen more online advertisements for hair color than I have in the last month or so. Apparently keeping one’s color fresh is a concern for many, many women. During this time of closed salons, I’ve noticed visible roots making the demarcation between youthful and aged older impossible to ignore, as well as a general dullness from those I’ve come to expect to look like they’ve just returned from a beach vacation. Hair color is a big thing for many people.

Having given up on dyeing my hair a couple of years ago, what I find more important than color, is cut. I like the ends to look healthy and a regular trim really helps with that. My hair is kind of in a long phase, which means I’m gearing up for a more significant than usual cut in the not distant future and I’ve only been going to the salon (shout out, Melinda at Ania) 12 weeks or so.

Sadly, my last appointment was in January and I’m definitely looking like the general unruliness of life is manifesting itself in my hair. Fortunately, because it is longer, I can pull it up, braid it or pigtail it, when it makes me crazy. My wish for an appointment with Melinda remains strong despite these hair wrangling techniques and I’m sure my bangs will have evened themselves out by the time I’m finally sitting in her chair again,

The last area of hair growth that I’m open to addressing publicly (see Kate Hudson, this how you filter) is eyebrows, specifically women’s. I’m at a point in life where my eyebrows are looking a little sparse, as my natural redhead has started to fade. This is not the same issue I’ve noted with a number of folks I’ve recently “seen” around. In fact, it’s just the opposite.

It isn’t often that I really notice a person’s eyebrows, at least not like I have these days. The difference between previously meticulously groomed eyebrows and the more caterpillar-y arches folks are now sporting, is pretty remarkable. This is one of those hair situations where I’m happy to be in the less, rather than more category, especially since brow shaping and grooming can be a serious expense.

If you find yourself in dire need of a hair refresh, here are a couple of sites to help with cut, color and beard maintenance. Good luck and remember it’s just hair. My eyebrows aside, it’ll grow back.